"Tiger Mothers" I have known

Is it too late to become a "Tiger Mother?"

It is rare, at least for me, to come up with a caption for the New Yorker's cartoon contest that feels just right, but, two days ago it hit me.  Panicked parents held hostage to run amok teenage offspring wondering if it's too late to assert control.  Many [most? all?] parents find themselves asking where did 'we' go wrong.  Amy Chua's Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother has leaped to national prominence because the author understands parental anxiety and, like the Tiger Mother [TM] she is, Chua puts her finger on this sore point and presses...and presses and.......presses.

As a teacher, department head, academic dean, head of school, I have encountered TM's throughout my career...sometime they are, like Chua,  Asia Tigers, but, I have also stalked, and been stalked by,

• the Afro-American Tiger Mother[1st generation in college and 'knows excellence'] , 
• the Levantine Tiger Mother[AKA The Jewish Mother], 
• Dallas-area Tiger Mother [Purrs, then pounces] 
• and, recently, near Boston, 
• The Celtic Tiger Mother [Wants Catholic-style discipline in a progressive setting]. 

Furthermore, I understand that unique strains of Tiger Mothers  have been found in the South East [Resort-area Tiger Mothers are especially feared], and in the Bay Area-Entrepreneurial Tiger Mothers [Knows that Google founders went to Montessori schools and wants MIT].  Of course, there are Tiger Fathers too, but, on a typical school day, they are roaming, looking for game to kill, and, often, are kept at a distance by their mates, lest they eat the offspring. 

A Tiger Mother's diet consist primarily of inexperienced teachers, but, she will not refuse chewing on a hesitant administrator, especially if the victim appears to be dissembling.  Tiger Mothers may be found anywhere but are most often found in car pool lines, parents' association meetings, and, inevitably, at parent teacher conferences.

For inexperienced educators the Tiger Mother is frightening and yet it is possible to learn How To Ride The Tiger [Mom]

A tiger symbolizes unlimited power. Durga riding a tiger indicates that She, Goddess Durga represents a united front of all Divine forces.

#1  Don't fake it---if you don't know something, admit it up front.

#2  Don't apologize for #1.  [When the TM asks 'How do you use Bloom's taxonomy  to structure your teaching?' you can use the standard 'Let me research that and I'll get back to you.' or, if you have real chutzpah, 'I teach from my heart and not from a book!']

#3  Never show fear. [TM's sense weakness at which point an interlocutor becomes prey] If you feel beleaguered insure that there are at least 2 in your hunting party-a senior teacher, dean or the like.

#4 Adopt training techniques. Re-enforce positive behavior [If at all possible, don't try to marginalize or avoid a TM, put the TM on an ad hoc committee, call her 1st to set an appointment, ask her to chaperon a trip.]

#5  Never threaten the cub. [Recently a TM told me that my pending decision on her daughter's kindergarten placement was 'The single most important educational decision that will ever be made for my daughter.'  Reassurance combined with candid description of other, equally important markers was what was called for.]

Finally, it is important to remember that at certain moments anyone can become a TM.  You can't run. Remain calm and think of ...Androcles.